Lived Experience Forum

[Knj]

This week has been difficult, there have been times where Ive felt like  it would be better if I wasn't here, times where Ive felt lonely, Ive been struggling with my health, not being able to breathe when i get up to go to the toilet. I felt like I didn't have anyone to talk to, like I didn't have any one to call just to have a chat. My street hasn't been great this week, the noises make me freeze and shake uncontrollably. I kinda just wish things were different. I wish I could see my Mum but she doesn't want anything to do with me. I try to let people in but I feel like  everyone just leaves, I feel like I'm a burden to people, I don't want or try to be but it seems like it always happens that way. 

[tyme]

Hey @Knj ,

Good to see you. I'm sorry things have been so tough for you. Reading your post, it sounds like you really just want to connect with people and feel well - is that fair to say?

We've just finished a Live Sunday Hangout chat which you are welcome to join next Sunday. You can read about it here JOIN US! Live Sunday Hangout 7-8:30pm AEST . I know it's not the same as real life, but perhaps it's an opportunity for you to connect with others?

I wonder if in life, it's about finding the people who appreciate you? I know you mentioned your mum doesn't want anything to do with you, and you feel like you are a burden. Is this because of your health?

What are some things you enjoy doing?

[Knj]

Thanks, yeah I do, but i find it hard to connect with people yet alone dealing with health issues. I want to connect but in the same I way I find it difficult.

Oh okay.

Yeah I thought I had that but then they used everything I spoke to them about against me. I called this person family but now I have a hard time letting anyone in.

I feel like I'm a burden to people because of my health but also because I have a lot of baggage. Yeah I haven't seen my mum for about 6 years and I think that if my mum doesn't even want to see me or have anything to do with me why would anyone else?

[tyme]

It's tough having these thoughts hanging over your head @Knj . 

I wonder if your mum has her own issues she needs to contend with and that's why she doesn't want to see you? (Only a thought). The reason I'm saying this is because I didn't see or speak to my mum for about 10 years. They came home one day and found I'd moved out without telling them.

The reason I did this was because I had my own issues. I didn't want them to see how I was. 

I'm not saying this is the same for you, but I wonder if there are other considerations that your mum doesn't want to see you and that perhaps, it's of no fault of your own?

I'd encourage you to be kind to yourself. Work to find your tribe and the people who love and care about you for who you are.

Hugs tyme.