Lived Experience Forum

[Tigerlilyy17]

At 4 something I woke up to get a drink from my night stand and I sleep with my door closed and with my bestfriend my dog max in my bedroom but this morning when I went to get a drink he was laying next to my bed on the carpet and I wanted to give him some cuddles and kisses because he’s been unwell but when I called his name and he wasn’t moving I touched his back paw that was closest to me and he didn’t react or move and that’s when I rushed out of my bed and looked to see if his chest my moving and it wasn’t and that’s when I felt his chest and realised my best friend was dead immediately tears flooded out of my eyes uncontrollably and I ran to my parents room and cried he’s gone my best friends gone and my Mumma rushed to my room to check and when the words oh god he is came out of her mouth she rushed to me while I was standing in the doorway looking at my bestfriend she hugged me and I fell straight to the floor and I managed to make my to the couch while still in my Mumma’s arms and watched as my dad carried my best friends lifeless body down stairs and out of my bedroom I haven’t been able to eat or drink since 4am this morning and I don’t know how to look at my room without seeing him let alone sleep in my room alone now I’m scared I had him for 8 years and he’s been my best friend since day one and I love him eternally I just wish that I didn’t fall asleep and that I was able to hold him and reassure him that everything’s going to be ok while he took his last breathes I feel so hopeless and I’m missing the key part of my heart and child hood I still can’t believe he’s gone I just wish I could hug him and kiss him and tell him how much I love him one last time. I really need help and I’m not one to reach out for help but I knew that if I didn’t I’d be in a much worse headspace then I am right now please I need some advice on how to fathom this 

[Friendlyflutter]

Hi @Tigerlilyy17 

We wanted to take this opportunity to welcome you to the forums.

Feel free to Introduce yourself here if you haven’t already!

I am so sorry you had to go through that, it must be so hard for you right now...

We are here with you xx

[lavenderhaze]

Hi @Tigerlilyy17,

I am so sorry for your loss, this is heartbreaking.

I can understand how difficult this must be for you - losing your best friend and companion is so hard.

I lost my dog when I was in year 9 and it was so painful, I still remember how much it hurt me.

You have to be able to grieve. It's going to be sad, and you're going to miss him, but with time, the pain will slowly go down and the sweet memories will remain forever.

We're all here to support you through this. ❤️

[ArraDreaming]

Sorry that your dog passed

[8ppleTree]

Hi @Tigerlilyy17 

I'm so sorry for your loss 🌷😢 What was his name?

It's ok to cry, to grieve. He's family. You didn't do anything wrong. There was nothing more you could have done. He was in a safe place with the person he loved, calm, sleeping. Honey, I'm so sorry x 

[SkySeeker22]

Hi @Tigerlilyy17 

I'm so sorry for your loss.  It sounds like Max was a big part of your life for the last 8 years.  It's understandable that you are feeling so lost right now.

Please know its ok to cry, and grieve and feel not quite right without him there with you.  He was such an important part of your life.  He knew he was so deeply loved by you that he moved to lay beside you next to your bed in a safe place for him for his last breaths.  💙

I know how hard it is to loose a pet in this way, and how hard it would be for you to go back to your bedroom still being able to picture him there.  When my best mate passed away in a similar way (and this took me a few days of grieving and ugly crying to be able to even drag myself to do it) I moved things around slightly so it wasn't the same as when he passed.  Is this something you might be able to do in your bedroom when you feel ready? 

I'm sorry that you are going through this.  Its so hard to loose a such a big part of your life.

Please know we are here to support you.

Warm regards

SkySeeker22

[OM108]

@Tigerlilyy17 

my goodness what a shock you just went through losing your dearest and best friend.

feeling your grief with you...and sending you loving support. 

the pain of loss and separation goes deep... so take all the time you need to be with your feelings.

reach out to those around you who can hold space for you to grieve.

i have found that going out into nature can be very healing for the heart....if we cry, sing, scream in a forest (or at the beach) and let the heart fully express itself....the trees (or ocean) will listen and embrace our raw expression of being human.... in our struggle to understand life and death.

hug a favourite tree