Oscillation between two mind sets

[creative_writer]

@Jynx when someone does not respond, sometimes blaming the client comes in. I didn’t improve I left that pdoc and went to one who suited my needs better. When there is no safety, progress is hard. My lack of progress was due to lack of safety as opposed to “manipulation” as interpreted. What does one gain out of manipulating a therapist, especially if you have to pay for it? ND people also have different body language, we get misinterpreted all the time.

@Former-Member I think it does. I think trauma can sometimes cause us to mature faster. So can going into social work

[Former-Member]

Yes, I can really understand that @creative_writer 🌺💜

trauma does create a whole new brain space that otherwise a person wouldn’t need to have, and I agree that this then influences emotional maturity alongside it. 
Indeed working or learning in a space where there’s interactions with people whose life trajectories have been affected in some way can for sure expose a person to developing maturity 💜🌺

[Jynx]

@creative_writer I heard a quote (wow I'm just chugging along on the quotes train tonight hey, haha) that said, "It is impossible to recover from trauma whilst still in the environment that caused said trauma". So you're spot on, progress is next to impossible if we're not in a safe, trusting relationship with our therapist. I'm really glad you left that therapist, but also sorry that you are still having to put effort towards recovering from how it impacted you. 

I'm about to log off, so I will say goodnight to you both, @Former-Member 

Sending some squishy huggles, see you two cool cats tomozzle if you're about 😊💜

[Former-Member]

Goodnight @Jynx , catch you tomorrow 🙂🌺

[creative_writer]

@Former-Member maybe I just need to find my people, it’s just hard finding them. I need them to be on the same level to me. I think the forums does provide me that 💖. I hope you are doing okay today 💖

@Jynx it’s rough. You don’t realise how much words affect you till you do. I had an appointment with my Pdoc today. He reckons that I show signs of ADHD. Though he is not sure if I’ll get much out of a diagnosis since he think stimulants might be too risky for me due to bipolar. I have a very sensitive body, even ADs can send me off the edge. Even too much caffeine can do it. Though he think it’s a good idea to work with the psych on ways to manage it. I’ll still be drinking my matcha with saffron morning and afternoon, and weak coffee (since my stomach has been protesting) in the morning with breakfast. I hope you had a restful night last night 💖

[Jynx]

@creative_writer oh for sure, words have power! One of the Four Agreements is 'Be impeccable with your word' for a good reason. It also means we can use them to empower ourselves as well. I remember aaaages ago forcing myself to look at myself in the mirror and tell myself 'I love you' out loud. It was so incredibly uncomfortable but it definitely did something (like... not a magic instant fix or anything like that, but it was progress and it did help). 

That's awesome about the possible ADHD diagnosis - I mean yeah if the meds would be too risky it may not be worth the cost of an 'official' diagnosis, but what matters most is how it can affect your narrative. For me, it meant I was able to stop demeaning myself as weak or lazy, and instead just go 'lol it's ok my brain just a bit funky' 😅 

I hope it paves a similar path for you, where you can approach things differently, seek out resources that are actually oriented to ADHD, stuff like that. Or maybe you were doing so already! In any case, I hope it's the start of a new chapter for ya 😉

Wait isn't saffron like...wildly expensive? My white ass has only ever had it in rice and only as a kid on the rare occasion my parents took us out for Indian food 😂 What's it like in tea? 

[Former-Member]

Hey there @creative_writer 🌺🙂 yes - that makes sense; having ones people can give a strong sense of well-being and connection 🙂

im so pleased you feel that, being here on the forums 💜☺️

I really enjoy chatting with you and have to say your insights make me think - which is a really good thing and something I appreciate 👌🏻😊

Doing ok thank you kindly - I hope you’re doing alright this evening 🌺💜🙂

[creative_writer]

@Jynx words and body language says so much. It makes a difference to repeat affirmations and hug yourself, even though it may not feel like much at the time. Likewise other people’s words and body language can affect you too.

The risk of depressive episode with mixed features is probably the highest concern. It has made me really suicidal in the past. I think that’s probably one of the reasons why he is cautious. There is still lots of psychological strategies that can still help too. It’s just about learning.

Saffron improves my mood and my ability to concentrate, I just put a few strands and I love it in my matcha. It gives that extra relaxation, and wakes me up. On my ADHD journey I’ve been googling things that work. Though it is true it is expensive, but I don’t use a lot.

@Former-Member I’m okay, a bit drained from today. Training was good, just required so much brainpower to stay focused. It’s been lovely getting to know you. I hope you’re able to do kind things for yourself this evening💖

[Jynx]

@creative_writer yeah 100%, goes such a long way to building habits of self-compassion. 

I'm glad you've got a cautious psych who will try to ensure that it will not push you over the edge. Better than someone who just throws medications at you and expects things to just resolve on their own. I hope you have a lucrative ADHD journey 😊

Oh wow, I've been sleeping on saffron then! Might have to go scoop some up and give it a whirl! 

[Former-Member]

Yes @creative_writer maxing out brainpower is like running up the down escalator all day, trying to get to the top - very tiring! However I’m really glad to hear it went ok 🙂🌺

yep, I’ve been laying under a nice soft blanket watching some tv to wind down a bit 💜🙂

I hope you’re doing ok and the evening is going gently for you 🌺💜